Valedictorian

Do I have a choice but to allow this failure and accept my dissatisfaction?

No matter how hard I try from this point, I’ll be proven wrong.

It will never be what I originally aspired towards

The concepts of this world wrap their tentacles around my desert thoughts.

You speak lucidly and I comprehend, and then doubt myself again.

You can’t even begin to fathom the idea I begin to think

Should I allow this disgust to pass with ease or do as I do and crawl away?

 

My efforts have achieved nothing at all

I am back to square, not even one.

I dreamt of holding a letter, to show my strain, in an everyday average life.

And yet again, taken by something greater than myself and I have nothing,

Everything taken from me, you took everything from me and now when I try

I feel you again taking what isn’t yours, all that I strive to be

I see the faces, which i picture you to be, no honest working human

Nails and broken glass around the edges of whatever unworldly creation you may be

You made me try and now I look done on myself with no help from you

I question it all, everyone lives, and I begin giving up all hope once again

So explain it to me misses valedictorian, how do you survive so flawless and controlled.

I envy your conduct your every step and breathe

Trust when I say you’ve got it good

Above average, doing way more than the average

I know skeletons that would kill for your knowledge

But i see through your bone sweetheart and i don’t want it

I doubt that delighted line upon your face

I bet you dream of crawling away, just like me.

I bet you feel you felling omitted and emotions neglected because you’re still unfinished

Even with all these accomplishments

I bet you hate it all; you still don’t get what you want

You deserve it, I know it, and am staring at the doubt

And under the surface I see your slow and steady demise

 

But I have so much hope for you, as I should myself

I know in the deepest vessel of my heart that you will succeed

So, I will tell you once more, don’t fall and don’t fade.

You are strong and will withstand

Let go of the perfections you hold onto with that grip

Ease back into a body, no bones just flesh

Release that person you know best

Never accept disappointment but

Never let it carry you away.

 

 

 

To the girl I wrote this for, I am so proud of you.

 

 

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