Do I have a choice but to allow this failure and accept my dissatisfaction?
No matter how hard I try from this point, I’ll be proven wrong.
It will never be what I originally aspired towards
The concepts of this world wrap their tentacles around my desert thoughts.
You speak lucidly and I comprehend, and then doubt myself again.
You can’t even begin to fathom the idea I begin to think
Should I allow this disgust to pass with ease or do as I do and crawl away?
My efforts have achieved nothing at all
I am back to square, not even one.
I dreamt of holding a letter, to show my strain, in an everyday average life.
And yet again, taken by something greater than myself and I have nothing,
Everything taken from me, you took everything from me and now when I try
I feel you again taking what isn’t yours, all that I strive to be
I see the faces, which i picture you to be, no honest working human
Nails and broken glass around the edges of whatever unworldly creation you may be
You made me try and now I look done on myself with no help from you
I question it all, everyone lives, and I begin giving up all hope once again
So explain it to me misses valedictorian, how do you survive so flawless and controlled.
I envy your conduct your every step and breathe
Trust when I say you’ve got it good
Above average, doing way more than the average
I know skeletons that would kill for your knowledge
But i see through your bone sweetheart and i don’t want it
I doubt that delighted line upon your face
I bet you dream of crawling away, just like me.
I bet you feel you felling omitted and emotions neglected because you’re still unfinished
Even with all these accomplishments
I bet you hate it all; you still don’t get what you want
You deserve it, I know it, and am staring at the doubt
And under the surface I see your slow and steady demise
But I have so much hope for you, as I should myself
I know in the deepest vessel of my heart that you will succeed
So, I will tell you once more, don’t fall and don’t fade.
You are strong and will withstand
Let go of the perfections you hold onto with that grip
Ease back into a body, no bones just flesh
Release that person you know best
Never accept disappointment but
Never let it carry you away.
To the girl I wrote this for, I am so proud of you.